It’s commonly known that when one has expectations, there comes along with it a risk of being disappointed, should the expectations not be met. Expectations can so easily become weighted assumptions that we hold in such high regard, that we tie our understanding of ourselves, even the world, to them. To the possibility of them not meeting the standard with which we’ve predicated them to live up to. Expectations can feel shattering to the senses, staggering to the soul; especially when they’re tied to our beliefs. Our values. All the concepts we stake our every-days on, from the feeble to the formidable parts of what those days entail. We tip-toe along the line of what things are, outside of our control, and what we wish them to be, inside of what seems like our control (when really, these may only exist in our imagination). How does one reckon with the weight of unmet expectations? Is there a way to surface from the depths of all of the things we have always believed to HAVE to be true, to HAVE to come true, and emerge as who we must become to accept, even embrace, such realities?
Growing up is not just one stage in life, often associated with awkwardness, dental braces and school dances; it is, rather, life in its entirety- we ‘grow up’ each and every day. Every new skill learned, every difficult challenge overcome, every uncomfortable change that comes and alters the way we see life, live life, or experience life around us all evidence that growing is an ever-evolving experience that never seizes. What differentiates growing and growing ‘up’, however, could be identified by our interpretation of all of the above (and more); our grace (or lack thereof) in the face of innumerable changes, expectations being met and unmet, as well as our general understanding of the world demanding evolution time and time again.
We grow up by feeling safe enough in ourselves to surrender; what we’ve always thought must be right, expectations we’ve held that aren’t rightly being met in the way we’ve hoped, and in accepting that while we may be better than we were yesterday, there’s still a lot of work left to do on ourselves (and that work is going to take a lifetime). We grow up by prioritizing deep and meaningful connection with others, rather than an unwavering devotion to connecting with only one’s self and ideals. We grow up by letting the echoes of who we have always been quiet, and allowing the ever-changing sounds of the adjusted expectations we must continuously adhere to guide us on to becoming the next version of ourselves. We grow up by letting this process repeat, again and again, until we aren’t here anymore for it to go on.
To grow up is to accept that expectations cannot, and should not, always be met, should our goal be to truly grow. While holding ourselves to the (impossible) standard of what we’ve always known may feel like the safest option, in doing so, we are inherently halting ourselves from ever becoming the apex version of us- a version free of being rocked by expectations (be them realistic or otherwise), and of all the changes that we’ll come upon in life that we cannot control. That’s the version of us we can be proud of becoming, and hold in high esteem; and while that version may feel far away more often than it feels in reach, to grow up means to acknowledge and accept that the pursuit of it is worthy beyond words, regardless.
x
some little nothings 